Shanti-isms

We have now had our housekeeper/cook, Shanti for a full month, and we are very happy with our decision to hire her.  It's been an internal struggle for both of us (more for me since I am home with her most of the time) since we have never had 'help' before.  I can't help but feel guilty as she cleans our whole apartment while I'm researching NGOs or heading out for my one-on-one tennis lesson that ends up costing $1.50 for one hour.  I'm not sure if I'll ever feel normal about the whole thing - but I definitely think I'm more accustomed to it than he is.  The other day we had finished our lunch and our plates were sitting on the coffee table when Shanti came over to pick up our dishes.  He says, 'oh no don't worry about it, Shanti - we will clean it up'.  Shanti looks at him like he's crazy and shouts, 'fine, you clean up, then I go home!'  Now when I say shout, I don't mean in an angry way - she just tends to raise her voice when speaking :)

When we got back from Bangkok, we had some pre-made food waiting for us in the refrigerator.  It was a delicious fish meal (and yes, I know you're thinking Lindsay? Fish? But yes, I have come to like some of her fish dishes).  So we settle down to eat our dinner when I get a phone call from Shanti.  It sounds like she's telling me that she's sick, but no, she is saying 'upset', not 'sick' (it can be very hard to understand her at times).  I ask her why and she tells me that she cooked a meal and waited all night on Friday for us to come home, but we never came home.  She said she finally left around 10pm, and was very upset.  I tell her no, we didn't come home until Saturday, not Friday, and I'm so sorry she misunderstood.  Her voice automatically flips from terribly upset to very happy.  Her reply is, 'ok, madame, see you tomorrow!'  Needless to say, miscommunication tends to be a common occurrence in this household.

A couple days ago I walked into the kitchen while she was washing the dishes and noticed her cell phone holder on the counter.  To be nice and make conversation, I tell her how much I like it (and I really do like it).  She looks at me and says, 'you have it!  Please take it'.  I am very taken aback and say, 'oh no I couldn't - thank you though'.  She says, 'I will buy another one for myself'.  And I say, 'oh then I'll give you money for it'.  I guess that statement offended her because she replied, 'if you buy me a gift, do you want me to pay you back?'  I couldn't help but smile and say, 'no - of course not'.  And then I thanked her.  The next day she came with 2 cell phone holders because she wasn't sure which one I would like.

She has been through so much (she has told me little snippets from her life), and I enjoy hearing her stories.  Today she talked about how she used to farm for 30 years - lentils, jute, mustard seed.  What makes it so interesting is that she acts the whole thing out.  She shows me how she would plant each seed and disperse the fertilizer while we are standing in my kitchen.

I think we will continue to have hiccups along the way, but I really feel like I'm learning a lot from her.  I am looking forward to learning more about the Bangladeshi culture!